Writing an obituary might not be the first thing you think to take care of after the death of a loved one. The importance of published obituaries has diminished in recent years in line with the declining popularity of local newspapers. However, steady growth in the number of websites offering 'online obituaries' has made them accessible again and, once more, people are having to take on the challenge of writing an obituary.
Whilst there's no definitive way to go about it, there's some useful guidance that can help balance the practical and the personal aspects involved in writing an obituary.
What is an obituary?
An obituary, in its simplest form, is a 'news article' written to mark the death of a person, with accompanying details of both their life and their funeral. In the days before the internet, social media and instant messaging, obituary sections in local newspapers would allow people in local communities to find out who had passed away.
But an obituary is not the same as a death notice, a straightforward notification of the funeral time and location, or a eulogy, a funeral speech paying tribute to the deceased.
While an obituary takes elements from both eulogies and death notices, it can be seen as a midway point between the two. Whilst consisting of more than just the details of the funeral, an obituary won't contain the same personal information and memories of the deceased as a eulogy. Instead, it aims to provide an overview of the person's life and some notable information about their accomplishments.
If you're writing both an obituary and a eulogy for a loved one, you may choose to borrow elements for the eulogy from the obituary and vice-versa, but the finished products will be unique.
Writing an obituary
Most obituaries start with some basic information about the deceased. You'll want to write their full name, age, place of birth, date of death and place of death. In some cases, people choose to name the cause of death but this may not always be appropriate and you should keep to information you are comfortable with.
The next step is to cover the major details and achievements of the deceased’s life. The general purpose of this section of the obituary is to allow anyone reading to learn more about the deceased, providing a concise yet important overview of their life and what made it unique.
You can include information about their career, community involvement and places they've lived. You may also choose to include other information, but take care to remain concise and not to include too much detail.
If you're still planning to publish an obituary in a newspaper, be aware that many local papers charge by the word or by the amount of space required. Websites will also usually apply maximum word limits.
Including family
Once you've completed the personal history element of the obituary, which is probably the section which requires the most thought and time, it's common to include information about family members who've survived the deceased. This may be sons, daughters, brothers, sisters or any other close relative.
Additionally, some obituaries include information about those who passed away before the deceased, such as spouses, parents and grandparents. There's no one-size fits all template for an obituary, however, as the person charged with writing it, you should think of all those who the deceased would've considered to be their closest relatives.
Sometimes people writing obituaries will also choose to include a special poem, message or extract towards the end. This could be from a favourite author, poet, song or film, in addition to religious extracts and other quotes. Again, not everyone will opt to include this, it simply comes down to whether or not you think it'll help the reader remember the deceased.
At the end of the obituary, and if the funeral hasn't already taken place, more practical information can be included about the date, time and location of the funeral service. Finally, most people will include a sentence or two about any charities or memorial funds that they wish for donations to be made in honour of the deceased.